Bitter Coffees and Bittersweet Memories
by Kalida
Summary: AU. She left people. People left her. She still couldn't decide which hurt worse… Later, in hindsight, she may have acted differently.  Little things. It's the little things that define love.  Cam/Brennan -ish and B/B-ish. Pairing: You decide for yourself


**A/N: **Hi! Remember me? I was active in Bones FF world about 11 months ago... And then I up and left with a horde of unfinished stories in my wake. Sorry about that.

First of all, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry I hadn't updated any of Bones stories in soooooooo long. Life was seriously messing with me. And I was paranoid and depressed and extensively depressed. I lost my muse and mojo somewhere along the line and couldn't complete my stories.

But don't worry... From the first weekend of December onwards there would be regular weekly updates for my stories. And I would be hell-bent to complete all my unfinished works.

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Secondly, a lot of generous people have left me with really good (& long!) reviews and I couldn't thank them or reply to them. Some of them even sent me PM's asking me to complete my stories. I haven't replied to any of them. I just wanted to say that it doesn't mean that I don't appreciate your reviews. To the contrary, I was in a dark place this year, and your reviews really helped me feel better about my life. I didn't reply because, honestly, I was at that stage in life where you just want to crawl under a rock and lay there and pretend you don't exist (or better yet the world doesn't exist).

Please never ever doubt how much your reviews (long or short) matter to me. It really helps me over come my paranoid & heavily insecure mind and post the stuff which I had written (but never feels good enough). So, I just want to say - Thank you from the depths of my heart for taking time to review my works. I am sending a bucketload of goodwill to the universe under your name and I hope it reaches you. :)

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Thirdly, this fic was supposed to be a one-shot. But it would've turned out too long and I couldn't have completed it without a feedback from your side. So, I am thinking of making it a two-shot (or at the maximum a three-shot) and you would get a classy quality fic. :)

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This is AU. AU, in the sense that from early season 6 things turn out differently and this story is set in that universe.

My sis told me that my taste in pairings was weird. So, to prove to her that I can use unconventional pairings and write a good believable story I wrote this fanfic. As I said, it has got a very unconventional pairing, but I'm hoping that you'd find it believable (in this fic, at least). *Fingers crossed*

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: <strong>I do not own Bones. No copyright infringement intended.

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**Rating: **T/M

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**Pairing: **Cam/Brennan, Booth/Brennan... (ah well! I don't know what pairing it is! You decide for yourselves.)

And if you're offended by same-sex pairing, you should try and be more open-minded.

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**Warning: **Bad language, mentions of sex & violence.

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**Summary: **AU. She left people. People left her. She still couldn't decide which hurt worse…Later, in hindsight, she may have acted differently.

Little things. It's the _little_ things that define love.

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><p><strong>This is my first fic from Cam's POV. Hope you enjoy...<strong>

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><p>Bitter Coffees and Bittersweet Memories : Part 1<p>

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The End In The Beginning

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><p>.<p>

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_She left people._

_People left her._

_.  
><em>

_She still couldn't decide which hurt worse…_

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><p>She doesn't really know when it started.<p>

She believes it started with work. After all, that is the one thing they have in common.

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. . .

* * *

><p>Later, in hindsight, she may have acted differently. But that night, Dr. Brennan had left an important file behind and she had been quite adamant about solving the case as quickly as possible. (Though now she wonders whether it was because some part of her knew Brennan was really upset and wanted to check upon her.)<p>

So, despite every possible reason to do this the next morning, she drives over to Dr. Brennan's apartment. She knocks on the door lightly (the lights are out) only to find that it is unlocked (Booth would definitely have a fit over this!). Later she would blame it on the fact that all of her rationality seems to dissipate after midnight, but she walks in through the door.

"Dr. Brennan?" She calls out (still in a subdued tone, it is after midnight and she doesn't want to wake anyone up.)

Hearing no response, she keeps the file on the nearest table she can find and turns to leave as she hears a slight sob. Despite her better tense, she turns around to find a crouched figure in the dark. Tear-filled blue eyes staring into hers. _Shit!_

Without further ado, Cam turned around and fled out of the apartment.

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><p>Cam always hated morning afters. It was awkward for her… It was awkward for the other person. It always was frustrating and downright uncomfortable. Especially, if one of them wanted 'more'. Or if the guy wanted to play the "I'm not a man-whore routine" and wanted to go on dates that were bound to doom… <em>Why <em>_couldn__'__t __people__ understand __that__ some __things__ were __based __on __sheer__ physical __attraction?_

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The morning afters were always awkward.

But Cam never thought that her worst morning after would be one in which she didn't even have sex.

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. . .

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><p><em>Okay, just give a polite smile when you see her. No, No! Don't smile! You never smile at her. Just give a stern nod. But, she had <strong>cried<strong> yesterday. She never cries. So, better not to be too stern on her…. Maybe I can assign her more work…_

Her internal ramblings were disrupted by the object of her thoughts standing at her door.

"Dr. Saroyan, Hodgins asked me to hand these over to you." She says flourishing some files, which Cam gratefully accepts. "He also asked me to tell you that he was the undisputed monarch of the lab."

"Yeah, sure… Yeah-um, Hodgins, yes... Um…Got it." She nods. _Real __Smooth!_

Upon getting a curious look, she squeaks "_Have __a __good __day!__"_ sounding upsettingly like Daisy. _Dammit!__ Dammit!__ Dammit!  
><em>

"Okay…" She answers uncertainly.

_Wow, __congrats! __Now,__ you__'__ve__ made __everyone __incredibly __uncomfortable! _She nervously busies herself with whatever she could get her hands on when she feels that Dr. Brennan has stopped at the doorway.

She turns around and starts uncertainly, "Cam… I-"

_Don't look up. Don't look up from your file. Avoid awkward eye contact. Avoid awkward eye contact!_

She is still standing on the doorway staring at her boss's downturned head and she sighs, all her breath leaving her body in one single _whoosh_. "Cam… I-I'm fine."

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Such a strange thing to say, she thinks as she finally looks at her colleague. But then considering herself, maybe not so strange after all… She gives what she hopes to be a reassuring nod.

Without knowing how or why she suddenly blurts out,

"So am I."

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><p>.<p>

A pair of blue-grey eyes flash onto her black ones. And suddenly she feels uncomfortable. She feels that had shown her hand… As if suddenly her incredibly emotionally-obtuse colleague could read her.

Quite unnaturally, she feels vulnerable… read-able…

She feels as if… Just for the moment, Dr. Brennan could _get_ her. She could feel that momentary connection sizzling.

* * *

><p>.<p>

A perfunctory nod.

A pat on the door.

And she is walking out the door with those purposeful strides of hers…

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Cam lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding.

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* * *

><p>It begins with that, she thinks.<p>

Or maybe… just maybe it was always there. They weren't the best of buddies or star-crossed lovers or _partners_… But they were two head-strong, stubborn, dominating, unlucky in love, career oriented women who maybe… just maybe have a vulnerable side too…

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><p>She goes home early that day. She had felt unsettled all day. But as Michelle hugs her and tells her "G' night", she decides that maybe everything is okay with the world. She goes to bed.<p>

She wonders whether Dr. Brennan is working late in the lab to make up for her momentary loss of control over lachrymal ducts or whether she would be repeating what she saw the last night.

_._

_I__'__m __fine__…_

The words seem to be mocking her in some way…

Cam sighed. This _so_ wasn't something for her to worry… _Dammit,__ Seeley! __Get __your__ act__ together!_

Cam pulls out a cigarette and lights it. _Ah __heck! __Quitting__ is __for__ losers__ anyway. _She takes a sinfully long puff. _Ah__…_ Pulling the sheets closer to her body, she closes her eyes and wills herself to sleep.

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><p>.<p>

She isn't in the brightest of moods as she climbed the stairs to Jeffersonian. She is in one of those moods – when she is pissed at everything.

She is pissed at Michelle for picking up a fight so early in the morning. She is pissed at Hodgins for conducting another experiment without her permission. She is pissed at Dr. Brennan for being her oblivious self.

She is pissed at Angela for fawning over her own pregnant belly. She is pissed at Booth for rubbing his successful relationship on everyone's faces… Especially on her single face… Dammit! She can see that people all around her was in love and ridiculously happy. Yes, she got it, she understood it… But her certainly single ass had not asked for front-row tickets to their sappy crappy romance….

_God __forbid!__ If __Angela__ & __Hodgins__ started__ smooching __in __front __of __me __or __if __Booth __declared__ how__ happy __he __was __in __his __relationship __one __more __time __I __would__… __Ugh!_ Her internal ramblings are cut short as she collides with another hard body.

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><p>.<p>

She grimaces in annoyance and looks around to find that it was Dr. Brennan who had just hit her head on like a freight train and mumbling an apology, continued walking briskly.

_God! What I wouldn't do to have just one chance to kill her off in such a way that even she wouldn't be able to identify herself had she been alive._

She tries to rein in her psychopathic tendencies and continues her walk to her office with even more fervor when she sees a blue-eyed entomologist bouncing up the stairs with a sparkle in his eyes.

Just as he opens his mouth, she says, "Not now, Hodgins." And walks away. Whatever his happy news was, it could wait. She desperately needed to get into her office before she bit the head off anyone.

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><p>.<p>

The thing about a frustrating day is at the end of it, you are completely utterly drained. You are tired and exhausted and you just want to go home and sit on your couch and drink some cold beer to erase the memory of the day completely.

Which may be why all she wanted to do was go home and crumple onto her couch and forget about the day. But as she gets ready to leave, she sees light on Dr. Brennan's office. It is really none of her concern, and she should actually be pleased that her star employee was working so hard… but, but something inside her tugs and she finds herself walking towards her office. She grabs two cups of cold yucky coffee from the office machine as she heads towards her door. She tells herself it is simply because she doesn't want her star worker burning out and since Booth isn't here taking care of that, she's just stepping in. ( Months later, she wonders whether it was because she couldn't erase the image of tear filled blue-grey eyes…)

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><p>.<p>

She stands at the door to find Dr. Brennan carefully contemplating an egg. In a dimly lit office at the middle of the night, the scene looks as if it had been taken out from a low-budget horror movie. She knew that coming back and seeing Booth in a relationship was hard for Dr. Brennan but she wonders whether she finally lost it…

"Dr. Brennan?" She asks, her voice near to whisper, partly because she doesn't want to startle her and partly because she's afraid any loud noise is enough to make her go crazy and attack her.

"What's between us is ours." Dr. Brennan mumbles.

It feels as if she had just accidentally blurted out whatever she was thinking. "Huh?" Cam asks, baffled. _Well,__ all __eloquence __leaves __at __the __end __of __a __trying __day._

Suddenly, as if snapping out of a trance, Dr. Brennan jerks her head towards the person standing at her door.

"Uh-er… Nothing." She stammers, as she snatches the egg away from the centre of the table and puts a file there instead.

Dr. Brennan's cheeks are becoming increasingly red. Cam watches this with an amused smile.

"Well, I just thought that if you were working through the night, the least you need is a strong dose of caffeine." Cam says, extending the cup of cold coffee.

Dr. Brennan takes it and drinks it. Cam leans against the doorframe and takes a sip from her own cup, her face contorting into a grimace and she tried to swallow the bitter, cold coffee…

Dr. Brennan's face remained impassive even as she downed the disgusting coffee.

They both drank their coffee in silence and relative darkness.

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. . .

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><p>.<p>

That is how it came into being. A weird friendship/quasi-friendship. They didn't talk much.

They didn't gush about this or that. They didn't gossip that much. They didn't reveal their deep fears or wishes to the other. Whenever they did talk, they clearly avoided the forbidden topic of 'Booth'.

_**They didn't have to talk to have deep soul-stirring conversations… They did that in silence…**_

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><p>.<p>

The nightly sharing of disgusting coffee has become a ritual of sorts. It is seriously messing with her good night's sleep, but she simply cannot leave Dr. Brennan alone to work through the night without at least five minutes of company with a friend per day.

She knows how it feels to have no one and despite her initial animosity towards Dr. Brennan, she has grown to respect her and even like her…

Also, maybe she too felt a tad bit lonely…

_I__'__m__ just __holding __the __fort __down __till __Booth __returns_. That is her excuse to herself.

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><p>.<p>

"Did you ever love him?" The question is mumbled through a cup of bitter coffee and she nearly chokes on hers.

She doesn't even pretend that she doesn't know which 'him' they are talking about. She gulps her coffee. _Did __I? __Yes__… __I __think __I __did __love __him__ when __we __were __young__… __Back __when __I __was __young__ enough __to __be __bowled __over__ by __rakish __looks __and__ charming __smiles__…  
><em>

She just answers, "At some point of time, yes…"

Silence fills the room. Dr. Brennan is contemplating over her response. She feels uncomfortable. She feels bared and naked. And just to make things even she asks, "Did _you_?"

Dr. Brennan goes very still.

Her back is straight.

Her shoulder line is rigid.

Her eyes are wide.

For a moment, the world goes still…

Then she parrots her, "At some point of time, yes…"

She doesn't know why (maybe it was the tiny wry smile gracing Dr. Brennan's lips) but she chuckles at the way Dr. Brennan uses her own words against her.

She joins her in quiet laughter…

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. . .

* * *

><p>.<p>

She doesn't how or when but their friendship (quasi-friendship) has grown. It has grown over sucky coffees and unsaid secrets. Sometimes, sometimes… she thinks that it has grown over mutual respect and stubbornness and quiet laughs and fights over whether flesh or bones retain more evidence and… and…

.

.

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><p>.<p>

Okay, maybe she was a bad parent or maybe she was just being a sensible one. _Rather __a __cynical __one._ But, it really did seem to her that Michelle was very much in love with her boyfriend. And it wouldn't have been a problem at all for her if Michelle wasn't fantasizing about living with him one day (in the distant future) or marrying him or (God forbid!) having his babies…

Of course, she wasn't talking about all these happening in the near future (if she was, Cam would have probably killed herself), she was just thinking about her 'happily ever after' which is set many years away, but yet… Yet, Cam felt uneasy.

How was she going to explain to her daughter that in most cases than not one does NOT end up with one's first love? She knew it was a natural side effect to love that you end up thinking it is going to last forever.

But, she was worried about her daughter... She really wanted to spare her daughter any future heartbreak. Of course right now everything would appear rosy and beautiful but later… Later it would all fall apart.

Of course, one's third or fifth attempt at love can be quite successful and may last (Her attempts are nearing double digits), but nearly no one ever stays with their first love. Of course, if she were ever to say this to Michelle, she would make 'nearly' the key-word and start stating how they were the 'exception' to every rule. She knew this because… well, she had once been the one arguing about 'nearly' and 'exceptions'. But she had learned the hard way. Michelle's own father had contributed to Cam's lessons…

Of course, Cam had become smarter than to just lecture Michelle on practicality and romanticism. So, she devised the simplest plans. Who better than Dr. Brennan to talk the romance out of even the cheesiest romantic stories?

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><p>.<p>

Well, maybe the plan backfired… After all she didn't take Dr. Brennan's unpredictability into account. But, she really didn't expect her colleague and her daughter to tag team upon her!

Later, when having their nightly disgusting coffees, the debate continues.

"But, but - she's too young to have a 'successful romantic relationship' as you put it. She… For Heaven's sake, Dr. Brennan, this is her first real love!" Cam exclaims, outraged. Then adds as an afterthought "Or at least I think it is…"

"I do not understand what age has to do with this?" Dr. Brennan replies, a frown creasing her eyebrows. "I was under the impression that the success of any romantic relationship depended on compatibility and mutual respect and understanding and common goals. I was unaware that age was a criterion."

"No, but- I… But- Oh! Nevermind." Cam sighs. She takes another sip of her bitter coffee morosely. _Well,__ who __would__'__ve__ thunk__ that __beneath__ Dr. __Brennan__'__s__ rationality__ and __practicality__ was__ a __romantic __heart?_ Well, she can't really blame the good doctor. There may be a slight chance that beneath her cynicism beats a romantic heart too… The bodice-rippers adorning her bookshelf ought to be a testament to that fact.

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><p>.<p>

"Are you seeing anyone?"

The question came completely out of the blue and it was barely in the nick of time that Cam crushed the urge to shout a defensive 'No!'

Feeling a little like a fish out of water, Cam manages to ask in a strangled (and slightly dazed) voice, "Wh-what?"

"Are you seeing anyone? Any ravishing hottie that you have been taking to bed, unknown to me?" Angela asks with a wink and a voice that makes it sound much more dirtier than it should be.

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She is still reeling from the question as she replies, "Er… No?"

It comes out more as a question than answer, probably why Angela asks again, "No?"

"No." Cam gives a disbelieving chuckle. "Why do you ask?"

"Hmm…" Angela contemplates her answer as she says, "It's just my spidey sense is tingling, you know?"

She laughs, "Trust me, I wish that was true more than you do, but it is probably just the pregnancy messing with your spidey sense…"

Angela cocks her hip and gives a noncommittal grunt.

"Your spidey sense giving us any insight into our vic?"

"Sadly, no."

"Well, then you better start working on that reconstruction and identify our Jane Doe." Cam gives her an encouraging smile and 'I'm still the boss' look.

Angela heaves a melodramatic sigh and says, "Yeah, yeah." She walks out grumbling about workaholic bosses and identifying dead bodies being the bane of her life…

Cam just smiles and shakes her head, before proceeding to work.

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><p>.<p>

Right then, she doesn't really question it, but later she starts to wonder why the defensive "No!" got stuck in her throat or why the "No!" was her first mental response anyway…

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><p><em>Sipping <em>_bitter __coffees __shouldn__'__t __feel__ so __cathartic__… _She gulps down another sip and stretches her legs. _Hmm__… __All__ that__'__s__ left__ to __do __is __go __home__ and __cuddle __into __my __warm__ welcoming__ bed._ Her internal monologue gets interrupted by an uncertain voice.

"Have you… Have you ever felt ill-equipped?" The question is asked in a low and uncertain voice and one can almost pretend it is unheard in the semi-dark atmosphere of her office.

"Elaborate."

"Ill-equipped… Unprepared. You feel as if you do not possess the necessary set of skills or qualifications to… to…" Her brow creases in that adorable squinty way as she finds it hard to express herself. "To-to do something." She finishes lamely.

She smiles, amused, "I know what ill-equipped means, Dr. Brennan." She pauses and takes another sip of her tar-ish coffee and swishes it around in her mouth.

After a short pause, she continues. "Yeah… yeah. I had felt _completely_ ill-equipped on- on the first day of college." She chuckles and continues, "When I applied for my first job… When I first saw a bright little girl who'd later become my daughter. I never knew how to be an okay-mother; forget a good one. I felt unprepared when I finally left her father for my own good. When… When I headed this team for the first time… When I decided to adopt Michelle. Lots- lots of times."

"As I recall, you were quite overconfident and bossy when you first headed our team." Dr. Brennan retorts, "One might even say that you were cocky, Cam."

"And why do you think that was?" She questions with a tilt of her head.

She drinks her coffee in silence as Dr. Brennan processes this information and stores it in her head somewhere.

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"Sometimes…" Dr. Brennan pauses, and Cam feels the word permeate the air in the silence and fill up the room...

"Sometimes… I-I feel as if I'm ill-equipped for life." She confesses. "I feel as if Life is a puzzle that I'm simply not capable of solving… I simply cannot come to a satisfactory answer! Like…Like-" Her eyes are an intense blue as she grapples to explain herself.

"_**Like ****Life ****is ****a**** Rubik****'****s**** Cube ****and ****I****'****m ****colorblind**…"_

She nods in acquiescence.

Silence prevails.

They both sip their coffees in the dark. In the dimly lit office, Dr. Brennan hears a low murmur of "Me too." But it is so low and inaudible that the next day she's (nearly) sure it was a figment of her imagination.

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><p>.<p>

They didn't make her the boss for no reason. Her decision making skills are beyond par. So it is really startling that this is one of the toughest decisions she had to make. _To __buy __or __not to__buy._

It isn't really her type of an earring. It is gaudy and long. The eye of a peacock's feather linked to a golden loop… She wouldn't be caught dead wearing it. But she had seen it and within an instant she'd felt that it would look good on her colleague… The colleague who wears gaudy earrings… Dr. Brennan.

And… She was hooked. She wasn't really the shopaholic type and almost never really indulged in whimsical window shopping, but she had seen it and she wanted to buy it. The inside of her palms were itching… _Damn__it!_ It is definitely not a life or death decision, but she finds herself deliberating over this for the past 15 minutes… _It__ is __just __a__ thank-you-gift __for __helping __me __deal__ with __Michelle__… __For__ giving __me __some__ perspective. __Well, __anthropologically, __it __is __quite __common__ in __many __cultures __to __reward__ a __good __advice __with __some __gift__…_

Oh damn! If her thoughts constituted of words like "anthropologically", she was really screwed… _What __the __hell! __I__'__ll __just __buy __it. _

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><p>.<p>

Damn, damn, damn! Sorting out a messy love triangle at work was _so_ not her job description. If she didn't know any better she could've sworn that her life at Jeffersonian is a part of some cheesy romantic show or maybe a chapter taken from one of her trashy romance novels.

Booth was going to propose to Hannah.

_Fuck!_

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Fuck, is right. She honestly doesn't think any how-to books are going to help her with this situation. _What __if __Booth __marries __Hannah? _The thought is so funnily scary to her that she would have laughed at the near state of hysteria she is approaching… But, she isn't dumb and she knows (_knows_) that this is going to affect the partners unlike any other hurdles they've faced. This is going to affect Brennan unlike any trauma she has experienced. Damn! She would probably have to do the customary 'drink-and-trash-talk-your-ex' routine as Angela wouldn't be able help Brennan drown her sorrows in a bottle of tequila/vodka with her pregnancy.

She really wonders whether their partnership would recover from this. She really wonders whether Brennan would recover from this… _Dammit__ Seeley!__ For __once __I __would __have__ liked__ it __if __you__ had __listened__ to __my __advice! __Didn__'__t __I __frigging __tell __him__ that __he __has __to __be __sure __about __his __feelings __because__ if __he __cracks __that __shell, __and__ changes __his __mind, __she__'__ll __die__ of __loneliness __before __she__'__ll __ever__ trust__ anyone __ever __again.__ But__ no__… __No __one__ ever __listens __to __me__ as __I__ am__ the __blind__ uncaring __boss! _

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><p>.<p>

She can _really_ feel a migraine starting at the back of her head and she convinces herself that it is simply due to the fact that she wouldn't want anything hampering the productivity of her star employee and nothing more.

She isn't very good at convincing herself.

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. . .

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><p>.<p>

She doesn't know why. Maybe it is the fact that darker times are coming for Dr. Brennan and she just wanted her to have something happy to remember about. Maybe it is the fact that she really wanted to thank her for helping her get some perspective on Michelle. Maybe it is the fact that she just thinks that the earrings would look fantastic on her. She doesn't know why. But she has stopped racking her brain for answers long back.

She keeps the tiny little gift box on her desk with a note "Thanks for everything – Cam."

She turns away and walks out of the room before she loses her courage and takes it back.

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><p>.<p>

It isn't really surprising that the next day Cam sees her colleague wearing the earring she gifted to her. It is big and gaudy (and expensive)! But it looks quite natural on her… Like it's a part of her personal style. Like it's part of her personality. Like it's a part of her…

As she sees Cam watching her, she nods her head and gives a quiet smile. It isn't her genuine smile or nod that makes Cam catch her breath. It's the joy in her eyes. A childish glee.

And Cam wonders how she was when she was a child. Did she smile a lot? Laugh freely? Cam wonders how different she would've turned out if the past wasn't so. How different she would've been…

_Joy__ Keenan__…_ Maybe it would've suited her better than Temperance Brennan if things had been different. If her past had been different… If the joy in her eyes remained at all times.

Though now, Temperance Brennan suited her best.

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><p><em>.<em>

_Seeley got rejected. _

Booth proposed to Hannah and got rejected. The funny thing about Jeffersonian is that news spread scarily fast among the employees. Having multiple doctorates never stopped one from gossiping.

This news was no different.

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. . .

* * *

><p>.<p>

She is browsing through an important file, when she hears the purposeful sturdy footsteps. Taps of heels on the marble floor.

She lifts her head to find Dr. Brennan standing on her doorway. Her face is an impenetrable mask. No emotions whatsoever… Her shoulders are straight and back rigid. It is not evening yet and it definitely isn't the time of their nightly coffee. Her eyes are a steely blue when she says, "Booth proposed to Hannah. She rejected him."

Cam doesn't know what the appropriate response to that is, so she stays silent.

Brennan is looking straight through her boss's eyes as she asks, "Did you know?"

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Somehow she knows this is going to take a bad turn. Somehow she knows this is going to come back and bite her in the ass. Somehow she knows that she should lie. She goes with the truth instead, "Yes."

Concise, truthful and to the point.

Brennan presses her lips together. Then, she asks the real question, "Did you know _before_?"

The question isn't semantically correct. It is ambiguous and can be interpreted in a thousand different ways. But Cam knows what she is asking and despite her rational sense telling her to be diplomatic, she answers honestly, "Yes."

A slight tinge of fury is seeping into Brennan's eyes and a tinge of scorn into her tone. "Is… Is that why you gave me the gift? To– to make me feel _better_?"

She doesn't answer. She just stays silent and stares right back.

Brennan head nods slightly as if she finally understood everything, she doesn't utter a word as she turns around and walks out.

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Cam thumps her head onto the table in defeat and frustration.

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. . .

* * *

><p>.<p>

This is where it begins she thinks. This is where the end begins. Their ending began even before they began. It isn't surprising. Really... Maybe because she knew too how it ends before it began.

But despite knowing the ending, some things, you want to begin…

.

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. . .

* * *

><p>.<p>

Things change. They always do. Entropy. It is simple science. The little things change. Cam wonders why her usually observant colleagues do not notice. Or maybe they do. They are all very good at pretending.

There are no more warm smiles as she says 'Good Morning'. She deviates back to 'Dr. Saroyan' when addressing her and not 'Cam'. There is a slight tension in everybody's backs. There are no more nightly coffees.

.

.

Things change.

After moping around for some time, Booth is back to his cheerful exuberant self. Talking to Brennan freely and coaxing her to have lunches. He's going back to his old self. Before he went to Afghanistan and before Dr. Brennan went to Maluku Islands. Before he got a serious-as-heart-attack-girlfriend… He's behaving in the same way as he used to. Being Bones's partner… But somehow, his closeness isn't really reciprocated by Dr. Brennan. He isn't behaving as she did before she went to Maluku. And Cam notices it. He notices it…

She can't really blame her. According to her logic, if he left her once, he can leave her again. Her non-reciprocity is just her self-preservation instincts kicking in. She understands that. But, she isn't really sure whether _he_ understands that.

.

.

Things change.

Everybody is tense. As if anticipating for something to happen…

.

.

.

. . .

* * *

><p><strong>Review please... ^_^<strong>


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